I am Joy.
And like most of you, I have many hang-ups about money. For most of my life, I have worried about not having enough and not working hard enough.
You see, when I was a child I always told there was never enough money. I also believed if I didn’t have a job it would immediately run out. If it did, I might end up homeless living on the streets in a cardboard box.
I felt like a lack of cash was the cause of a lot of stress and not having work with a regular income was catastrophic.
These are some of my earliest money messages that I learnt growing up in a single-parent low-income family from the Caribbean.
I didn’t think there were many alternatives to the poverty I experienced. This is because I grew up in a deprived working-class area of London.
Growing up in lack meant that I felt I needed to protect my mother financially as I really wanted my family unit to be secure.
At 10 years old, I was the only person to not go on a week-long school trip to the Isle of Wight (an island off the coast of the UK).
I was terrified of being a burden and that spending money unnecessarily would result in a disaster.
The pattern of depriving and denying myself had begun.
The start of healing money wounds
I first became aware of the concept of money scripts and messages after I read You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L Hay in 1997 (it was a well-worn copy after it was passed around a few people).
Even though I didn’t understand many of its concepts at the time. I knew that there was the possibility of change, transformation and a happier future. It also opened my eyes to the possibility that I could get what I wanted.
It took many years after reading this book to detangle my many issues surrounding money, deserving and putting myself first.
However, I did eventually change my deeply ingrained money script and became good friends with my finances.
What I now know is possible
Today I realise money is an infinite resource (thanks Louise for being the first person to tell me). If that made you just roll your eyes, I get it. I once did too.
I do have enough to attract the things I really want and need at the right moment. I am not worried about money in the same way as I was when I was a child.
I have a really fulfilling life. I now have the confidence, and a strategy in place, to fulfil a dream of being location and geographically independent, and eventually move to the Caribbean.
The person behind the blog
I am a former financial journalist. I have written content for many organisations including Financial Times Business, BBC, local newspapers, the NHS and many more websites, magazines and newspapers. I also launched a retail hedge fund website for Euromoney.
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If you have any comments or questions please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org or use the comments section below.